The latest from our oncologist

Yesterday I posted this in my Facebook esophageal cancer support groups. No reason not to share here. This is pretty bleak, so I should also mention that his cancer markers are way down. We take our good news where we can get it.

Yesterday before my husband's infusion we had a long conversation with his oncologist, a woman I admire a lot, who seems to be very much on top of the latest information -- even had more recent information than the Dana-Farber doc we went to see! I joined them about halfway through the conversation, at just about the time Lindy (my husband) was hearing the difficult stuff, that his cancer is just about the worst EC situation you can have. We first became aware of it because of a brain tumor, so it's metastasized, which means surgery, as difficult as it is, isn't indicated, as the cancer has gotten out of jail already. 

The current chemo might not shrink the tumor any more. It has stabilized and shrunk a little, and we're still going for the full 6 months, which started in I think early March. But she indicated that the next months of chemo might not have an impact on the tumor at all, since the drugs peak and level off in effectiveness. 

But they might have an impact, too. We don't know. The problem is his cancer is a game of whack-a-mole. Where is it going to pop up next? No idea. We're fairly sure the brain tumor site is clean, but it may turn up somewhere else in the brain...or anywhere else in the body. 

Other than his tumor, however, he is healthy, strong and fit. His weight is low but we're working on it. His immunity numbers are good, which even the Doc admitted is probably because of the nutrition work I do as well as the supplements. 

And by the way, there is a thread on this, forget where, about supplements, but the Doc said that the problems with supplements and vitamins during chemo has been disproved. 

It was hard because Lindy realized for the first time how heavily the odds are against him. He feels fine. His response to chemo is really mild. He even had a small pot cookie last night and got the munchies! I was so happy seeing him have cheese and crackers at 8 pm! 

All of these factors contribute to the possibility of a good outcome. The problem is I'm starting to think that a "good outcome" is having him with me for another 5 years. That is intolerable to me. I have discovered in the past 5 months since diagnosis how deeply my happiness with this man is rooted in the permanence of his presence. 

I'm going into therapy soon, and we're having couples therapy as well so we can deal with these issues together. Our kids will both be in college this Fall, so I will have an empty nest on top of it, thought I'm so happy that they are happy with their pathways. They are both being very supportive and more mature than their years with me. 

This is very long. Congratulations for making it to the end. I'm continuing to research alternative therapies, ways in which nutrition and other alternatives can treat the metastatic condition. That's when I feel most hopeful; when I'm actively working on taking the next best steps.